There are many Officiants and Ministers around and about and I have no idea of what you are looking for. What I can tell you is what I do, how I build a ceremony, and why.
My focus is always on the couple for whom I am creating the ceremony. I have to know something about them, their beliefs, background, family, relationships, how they think, how, when and where they met and how they really feel about each other.
When I sit and talk to a couple for an hour it’s easy for me to determine where they are coming from and what they envision on their wedding day. Not being one to trust my memory, I have created a form I fill out with them to cover the pertinent information.
Right off the bat, when I ask for their address, I know if they are living together which could open up an interesting conversation.
Another leading question is to inquire if their parents will attend the ceremony. Then I know to ask if they want to honor the parents or mothers during the service or would a memorial be more appropriate. Maybe one or all are remarried and, if so, are they all talking to each other?
The next obvious item is about children. There could be his, hers and theirs and will they attend? If the children attend will they be included in the proceedings? The usual recommendation is to include all children. However, in some instances, inclusion would not be for the highest good of all involved.
Are there favorite people, relatives or friends, who are not in the wedding party for one reason or another that the couple would wish to honor or mention somehow? There are several ways that could be easily accomplished. There could be a verbal tribute or a flower given as a gift; the person could come forward and read a verse, a personal poem, sing or play an instrument.
And we haven’t even gotten into the actual ceremony yet!
I have to say 2 things right here right now. 1, I love doing weddings. I’ve been often told that my passion shows. 2, each and every fully personalized ceremony, written by me is not like any other ceremony that I have ever performed.
Every thought, prayer, message, passage, poem, blessing and announcement must match the couple for whom I will pronounce husband and wife. A marriage is a life changing event. Even when the couple has been living together, something changes within them. They are not and will never be the same again. Ever. This responsibility is serious and I definitely take it personally.
I have created brand new additions that fulfill a request from the bride or groom. For instance – one bride wanted to create a time box to be opened on their first anniversary. Another unique event was a surprise wedding when I appeared as another BBQ guest until the right time and then set the stage for the ceremony complete with wishing stones.
There have been several religions and cultures woven into a single wedding tapestry; prayers for atheists; house blessings incorporated and weddings that have followed funerals and national disasters.
Every component is weighed and measured to see if it fits the couple. Parts are deleted, new ones created, phrases rewritten, words pondered over. You should see the condition of my current thesaurus! It’s my most prized book.
When the realization dawned on me of what was constantly occurring, it became a new tag line: For a ceremony as unique as you! And that is what I love to do.
I love to meet with the couple. Hear what they have to say. Ask questions. Listen some more. Observe their interactions. Watch their reactions. Add it all up using intuition as the common denominator. All of the above is brought into a meditative state and out pops a brand new unique ceremony written with a passion that shines through the bride and groom and overflows to each and every guest.
There is no one in the world quite like you. There is not another couple quite like you and your fiancé. And YOU deserve a ceremony as unique as you!
